Saloon Series

Hey there, folks! Abigail here, though most folks back in my village prefer to call me  Namwase where I come from, isn't exactly the land of milk and honey. Nope, earning 10,000 shillings there wasn't just a walk in the park. It required sweat, muscle, and enough patience to rival a saint waiting for payday. Now, us girls who had a little somethin' somethin' going on in the looks department? Well, let's just say we had our ways of charming the pants off the older gents and the sugarcane boys. They'd toss a tip our way, about 5,000 shillings, if we dolled up with all the magic potions - Mwanamugimu, copper girl, and shiny lips. You know, the essentials!

But hey, Budubuli wasn't exactly my forever home. I knew I had to spread my wings and fly, or at least flutter, somewhere else. So, I started brainstorming for options. Housemaid? Nah, my curves would probably scare the dust bunnies away (I doubted any woman would hire me as a maid). Working in a food joint? Well, I just couldn't bring myself to take that on.

In the midst of my existential crisis, I remembered my buddy Ob Mpata, who'd had a stint in the Kampala suburbs of Kikoni. So, I buzzed him up, asking for advice on what a P7 dropout like me could possibly do. Mpata was optimistic and suggested a job in a salon  But when I confessed my complete lack of hairdressing finesse, he just chuckled and said, "Girl, bring those bums to Kampala, and you'll see the miracles they can perform massaging some horny customers."

Mpata gave me a deadline: two days to haul my behind to Kikoni. I was nervous about where I'd sleep, but honestly, at that point, I just wanted to be in Kampala.

The next day, I spent the morning using charcoal to whiten my teeth because, let's face it, brushing wasn't really an option where I was headed

I packed my finest two dresses and spilled the beans only to my mother and my partner in crime, Nananagwe. You see, in Budubuli, announcing your Kampala dreams was like waving a red flag in front of a herd of bulls. Secret squirrel mode: activated.

Come day three, I'm on the move. I couldn't stop grinning at the tall buildings along the way, imagining if Ugandans had built all this development. But as we got closer to Kireka, the potholes in the road made me wonder how these people managed to drive on such terrible roads. There was one spot that looked like a crater lake in the middle of the road, and it gave me a bit of a scare. Still, I stayed positive about the journey.

When we finally reached the taxi park, I called Mpata to let him know where I was and then directed a boda guy to take me to Kikoni.

We arrived around lunchtime, and Mpata was thrilled to see me. When we walked into the salon, all the guys there were excited to meet me. One of them even ordered food for me, and as I went to thank him, Mpata whispered, "You see what big bums can do, Abigel!"

To be continued ..................................